Near's Visit
by Shius
Summary: Several years after the KIRA case, Near has come to visit a partciular burnt down and abandoned church; the site of Mello's death. With a yellow bouquet in hand he steps in the decrepit church, to pay his respects to his long gone rival.


It was a strangely cold summer day, and I had to wear a thick coat over my usual clothes. In my right hand was a bouquet of flowers, yellow chrysanthemum's, and on my left was a stack of chocolate bars. I was there for reasons I couldn't understand myself, through means I didn't really want to use.

I was there for a visit.

So there I was, standing in front of a broken down church, abandoned from all who once used to maintain it.  
It was burnt down some years ago, by the hands of a man I knew all too well to forget.

...The death bed of an old friend, and rival.

...Mello.

Gulping nervously, I took my first step in.

Any signs of civilization in the abandoned building were long gone.  
Moss and grass flourished from crevices in the stone walls and floor. Beams of light fell from cracks in the ceiling, showing me fallen debris and small shatters of what was once a beautiful stained glass window.  
...All forgotten through the passage of time.

Choosing a spot in front of a broken cross, I set my flowers down and knelt down.  
Clasping my hands together, I began to pray.

As I was no religious person, I never had the thought to actually kneel down and pray.  
But this time was different.

Closing my eyes, I began to think of what Mello would have done if he saw me do this.  
Would he be surprised? Would he just ignore me? Would he make a snide comment of me acting strange?

...Would he be happy?

I opened my eyes with a start.  
For a moment there, I had surprised myself.

Promptly dusting my knees off, I put the chocolate bars down and hurried to leave.

At that exact moment it began to rain, quite heavily actually, and since I came alone with plans of leaving the place immediately after I payed my respects, I had forgotten my cellphone in the hotel I was in.  
I had no choice but to stay in the damp and broken, but still sheltered, church.

Sighing in annoyance, I turned back to where I had put the chocolate.

The bright coloured flowers in the dim light made it a darker shade of yellow, somewhat near gold, much like Mello's hair.  
Staring at the flowers, my mind slowly drifted back to thoughts of him.

I remembered his unusual, (And amazingly strange) taste in clothes, his liking for dark chocolate and his hate for the white ones, the only ones I liked. I remembered his glinting metallic rosary, and all the stories he said he heard from his beloved mentor, L.

L...

He was nothing but a name to me, a symbol of what I was fighting to be.  
I fight I was having with Mello.  
...A name I have now.

Mello was my rival.  
My only rival...

...And the only one who understood me.

There were so many things I wanted to say to him, so many fights I wanted to have...  
...If only I had known...  
_...If only..._

Suddenly a drop of water hit my empty palm.

My face felt like it was burning.

Was I crying?  
...I didn't want to check.

Looking up, I faced the flowers on the ground.

Quietly, I whispered.

"...Mello?"  
"Is that you?

...Where you the one who brought me here?"

"...Why did you leave me?"

My voice cracked.

My head was spinning, filled with memories, feelings I wanted to forget.

"There were so many things I wanted to say to you...  
...Why did you leave?

...Why am I all alone?"

I felt like a babbling fool.  
Strangely, my emotional drive was far too strong for me to stop.

The silence in the building helped though, and by some minutes, my sobbing and crying had subsided to a quiet stop.  
I regained my calm and the control over my face to create my usual pokerface.

Tiredly, I looked toward where the flowers were.

Holding back tears, I tried to smile.

"You know what Mello?  
It's my birthday today. I'm 21 now.  
...The same age as you."

Gulping hard, I continued.

"...There were so many things I wanted to say to you.  
you may not have known, but there were so many times I actually got really angry and was about to accidently go on the same level as you. I really wanted to curse at you once in my life, you know.

And when we were done with Kira, and I had won, I wanted to order you around to do stuff for me.  
And when everything was over, and I was tired of playing around with you, I wanted to order you to team up with me.

...I wanted us to both be L."

Though I was trying hard to hold it in, tears began to build up under my eyes.

"...I never was able to get the truth out.  
I never had the courage to look you in the eye.

You know that message I was about to write on the back of your photograph?

...I was going to write that I was sorry."

"...I knew how much you loved L, and how much you wanted to follow in his footsteps.  
I never really liked L that much, and I never wanted to become him, but I got in your way just because I had no other future to choose.  
...I knew that you were the same, or even worse off than me.

I respected you, and I understood you.

...I'm sorry."

Wiping my tears away, I turned to leave.

The rain had come to a stop as sudden as it had started.  
The strong wind blowing through the trees and into my face comforted me slightly.

Stopping, I looked back one last time.

To think, that the abandoned church would stay in the same place, in the same form, as if lost in the tunnel of time.  
Just as Mello and my memories of him are...

Forcing out one last smile, I whispered quietly.

"...Goodbye, Mello."

And then I slowly walked away.

* * *

On the edge of the road, near a small bus stop, I saw something glinting in the grass.  
A small metallic object, connected with a thin string.

_...Could it be?_

Walking towards it, I picked it up.

It was a small metal rosary, glinting in the sun.  
Though it was damp, and slightly rusted by being left in the grass, it vaguely reminded me of the rosary Mello kept wearing.

There were no markings on it, and by the rust, it didn't seem like anybody was looking for it in particular.

With mixed feelings I kept it in my pocket, wondering what to do with it later.

In the wind I thought I heard a sound, much like someone's voice, but I was already too tired to care.  
As I rode the bus back home, I soon drifted off to sleep, wondering what the noise was.

Sadly though, what I heard, I can never seem to remember.

_"...I forgive you, Near."_


End file.
